Few years back, when I came to London for the first time – I was a bit shocked. It was a cultural change. What was most interesting to me was the politeness of people. People would smile, greet you pleasantly and say ‘Please’, ‘Thank you’ with every request or remark. Then I entered hospitality industry at which politeness is the key to success.
Surprisingly, many people who work in the restaurants and bars were not so polite at all. Many of those were foreigners and Brits too. I had colleagues who would criticize politeness and would even call it a ‘fake smiling’. I was confused and didn’t understand if I should lean towards the nice people or stay with the ones who are ‘real’ with a straight poker faces rather than warm smiles.
Ex colleagues used to say: ‘If you are too nice with your boss then it means you are licking their ass’ and I used to think, really? So I can’t be friends with my managers just because they are managers? I can’t smile for smiling just because I am not being real if I do? Am I a fake person if I want to have a warm and nice attitude?
Warm v Cold
Little that I knew at that time, people who have a pleasing personality will always win against the ones who don’t. It’s just much more pleasing to deal with anyone who is positive and smiling back at you when discussions take place. These people inspire and drive your energy levels up.
Negative people just suck your energy dry and leave you feel soulless, next time you see that person, you are thinking twice if you want to talk with them again.
So what does it take to have a pleasing personality?
It may be difficult to grasp what exactly a pleasing personality would stand for. A person who is charming, positive and happy, but what else? Well there is a lot more to it.
No one likes to hang out with negative people. That’s simply a law. Often however it can be very difficult and demanding to stay positive. I would say finding the best outcome out of any negative situation is what matters to a positive person. Always look for that spark of light in the darkest nights.
It’s easy to give up when hardships come your way. So many of us whinge and cry all day why their lives are the worst and their circumstances are the most terrible of all. We all must face crisis at times and its all about standing strong in uncertainty.
Lets you to be able to adapt yourself quickly to changing circumstances and emergencies without panic or loss of temper is a significant skill as you struggle toward success.Having a flexible disposition means you struggle toward success.Having a flexible disposition means you must be like a chameleon, quickly harmonizing with your environment.
Positive Mental Attitude.
Open the door and allow you to display your skills and ambitions. Imagine that lawyer presenting her case with confidence, gaining the ear of the judge and jury because she is distinctively self-assured.
Promptness of Decision
Successful people reach decision definitely and quickly, and they become annoyed and are inconvenienced by others who do not. Prompt decision-making is a habit, and it is supported by your positive mental attitude, which give you confidence.
Is nothing more than the habit of respecting other people’s feelings under all circumstances, the habit of going out of one’s way to help the less fortunate, the habit of controlling selfishness in all forms.
The Habit of Smiling
Don’t underestimate the importance of a frequent and sincere smile in making your personality appealing to other or its effect on yourself.
Is the disposition to be patient and fair toward those whose opinions, practices, and beliefs differ from yours.Holding your mind open to new ideas and new information is not simply a way to make yourself more pleasing to be around.The more intolerant you are, the more close off to the diversity of the world and to the power of the spiritual side of the mind, which can flourish only when it is ready to accept new ideas.
The Appropriate Use of Words
People who achieve success do it by careful and attentive effort.Your use of language must reflect this quality just as astutely as any marketing plan. Do not litter your speech with curses, obscenities, or casual misuse. Instead make sure that you use words with precision and that they have force and power to convey your meaning with all the clarity you desire.
Building your desire for success into a burning obsession and embarking on your definite major purpose are the cornerstones of your efforts to gain emotional control.Each strengthens the other,and progress with one will mean progress everywhere.
No matter how much you know about the field of your endeavour, unless you can display a general interest in the world at large, no one is going to find you attractive. Keeping yourself acquainted with the issues of the day and maintain a few pursuits other than your business. They will broaden your character and deepen your knowledge of yourself as well. If you understand yourself, you’ll be better able to understand other, and they will appreciate you more for it.
Arrogance, vanity, and egoism are never found in someone with an attractive personality. Don’t mistake humility for timidity; true humility is a recognition that even the greatest folk are,in the scheme of human existence,only fragments of the whole.People who are strong in faith are always humble of heart, and these qualities are always mush admired.
A Good Handshake
This is a simple skill, but is invaluable at first impression and every time a contact is renewed.Make your grasp firm and friendly, not crushing. Be direct and assertive in your greeting, and people will associate those qualities with the whole of your personality.
You should channel this energy into your efforts making them, not your body, the source of appeal to others. Use your sexual energy to build your enthusiasm, to display your genuine fondness for people,to burnish your style and tone of voice. Your gesture and posture, too will reflect this quality.
Posses these qualities or at least do your best to follow them and you will go a long way in mastering personal relationships. Ignore them and you will fall in the negative downwards spiral.